Jessika was 10 years old when her parents decided to get a divorce. She turned 11 the day after the divorce was finalized and ended up celebrating her 12th birthday at her mom’s. Her dad sent her a card. So many things had changed since the divorce.
Jessika’s mom was no longer interested in anything Jessika had to say. In fact, it seemed as though her mom had no interest in anything anyone had to say. All she did was mope around and sleep for hours. Jessika’s dad, on the other hand, seemed to be on top of the world which made Jessika feel horrible. She thought that it was strange that she’d never seen her dad laugh or look thrilled about anything when he lived with them. Was she the problem? Had she caused the marriage to fail? Was she the reason her mom was unhappy too?
Nothing seemed to make Jessika’s mom even remotely content. Soon after her Jessika turned 13 she started questioning herself and the damage she had caused. She wanted to tell her mom how she felt but her mom was never in the mood to have a discussion about that kind of stuff. Instead, Jessika sat on her feelings and began to hate herself. She hated her face, her hips, and the shape of her legs. She hated the way she wore her hair and the type of person people thought she was. No one knew her. No one knew the real her. Jessika began to eat to the point of nausea whenever she got home. She’d stuff her face and then go to the bathroom and force herself to throw up. Jessika was bulimic and she was had no one to talk to.
It’s scary when parents get divorced and things start to change at home. It’s hard to watch the adults you once knew, start to do different things and act different ways. Jessika took full responsibility for her mother’s depression and felt as though she had caused the family to fall apart. Because of that, she began to hate herself and lose control. In order to regain control, she turned to food and began the vicious cycle of bingeing and purging.
Eating disorders are no joke. They ruin your life. If you are considering doing something like this or have already chosen this path, it is definitely not too late to talk to someone and change your future. Know that you are not alone and the feelings you (whatever they may be) are not insane or weird. There are people who can help you overcome this so that you can be happier and live the life you want. The first step is speaking up and asking for help. That takes a lot of courage but once you do, your life will start to change and it will get a whole lot better.
You can reach out to a counselor, a teacher, your parent or a relative whom you trust.
You can also call the following hotlines and talk about what’s going on. No one is going to judge you or make you feel bad. They are there to give you the support you need so that you can get healthy and be happy.