I Don't Have a Boyfriend

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I Don't Have a Boyfriend

Hello. I don't know if you will actually respond to this but I just needed to get my feelings out. These past few months, I have been feeling alone. There are 2 main reasons: friends and not having a boyfriend. I have a "best friend" but I feel like she does not love me as much as she says she does. She only hangs out with me when it is convenient for her. I always see her with our other friends and I just don't understand. I feel like I am always there and would do anything for her but I don't know if she would do the same for me. And I have other friends but I feel like I am the second choice. I feel like if their other closer friends aren't there then they will talk to me or hang out with me. Then here comes the boy part. All of my friends have boyfriends. My dad said everyone?? And I said yes and went to name off all of them. I feel so left out. And I know I shouldn't pine over having a boyfriend. But I mean come on, who doesn't want a boyfriend especially when all of their friends have one? I feel like something is wrong with me. I look in the mirror and see this girl who thinks she's ugly, fat, and worthless. My mom and dad keep telling me I'm beautiful and I'm grateful but it doesn't feel real. And everyone keeps referring to that analogy about the good apples being at the top of the tree, and that I am the good apple. But I just don't feel like that part of my life will ever work out. I know I sounds pathetic, I just wanted some advice on what to do.

Thank you,

Gigi

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Hey Gigi,

I get it, it’s easy to really get down on yourself when you feel like you’re 2nd best and not appreciated. And I’m sorry that you’re feeling that way. Sometimes, when we start thinking negative thoughts, it just snowballs and everything seems bad. So, you gotta stop those negative thoughts in their tracks.

 

Have you tried talking to your best friend about how you feel? Maybe she would make more of an effort if she knew how you were feeling? And you might feel better expressing your feelings.


Here’s an important thing to think about-You can’t control the way other people feel or react. You only have the power to change yourself. Want to know the beauty of that? You can start working right now on improving your self image and self worth. You don’t need a friend or a guy to to do it. And you are guaranteed to feel better! Start by making a list of all the things you love about yourself. Come on, you can come up with at least 5. I want you to remind yourself of these awesome things every day. Write them in lipstick on your mirror if you have to. :)


Thoughts are just OUR perception of the world, but not necessarily truths. I promise if you work at changing your thoughts, you’ll change your life. It takes time, it’s not easy and you might have to fake until you make it, but it’s worth it.


You might want to check out this super helpful book called, The Self Esteem Workbook for Teens by Lisa M Schab. The more confident and happy you are, the more you will attract friends...and your crush. You like to be around happy, fun, confident people, right?

 

You will find the right guy who really likes you when the timing is right, I promise. One of the biggest lessons I had to learn is to trust the timing of your life. Good luck, girl.

GZ Advisor