Hello, my name is Tia and I'm 16. A couple of years ago me and my stepbrother made it a habit of fooling around and having sex whenever we could (in absolute secrecy of course, we were also both underage at the time). Then randomly his now ex girlfriend came on the scene without him telling me about her so i had to suffer in silence and get over him by myself once again in absolute secrecy. They broke up after about 6 months and me and him started to hate each other but in my opinion i had never done anything wrong and he had no reason to hate me at all. Of course i had made some immature comments but i had thought we were going to be something at the time and then he brought her home. Since then i have always thought about how much i want to be close with him again maybe not as close as before but the hate between us was tearing the whole family apart, we could hardly be in the same room without arguing. Eventually we both just grew up and got over ourselves and we have recently been staying up all night talking and watching films together, there has been a few occasions where we will hit or kick each other in a playful way and he'll always end up getting quite close to me and I've also noticed that he looks at my mouth a lot and I've come to learn what that means over the years.
The current issue I'm having with him is i feel like I'm falling for him again and that he might feel the same way but I'm terrified of the idea that in a few months time (if anything happens that is)he'll once again drop me like a lead weight and once again i'll be left alone to deal with the crappy heartbreak like last time. I think that because nobody knew about us that we could kind of just forget that it happened but for me he was my first serious 'boyfriend' i guess you could say because it was more than just casual sex, there was feelings on both parts. I think that i want to be with him but i struggle with being honest with my feelings so i feel like i can’t sit down with him and have a chat about 'us' and then there's the fear that i might get rejected by him then things will become awkward and we won’t talk or spend time together which i definitely don't want.
Being older than i was when I was last with him i now know the difference between love and lust and i want him to properly love me and not just lust after me. So now i'm left with the idea that he might want to be with me again and it could be amazing if we were together properly this time. I don't know how he would react to the idea to us being in a proper relationship as i know to other people it’s weird and shouldn't happen but from reading other stories similar to my own people say not to let other people’s opinions bother you but that's easier said than done. The other slight issue is our ages i am 16 and he is 18 turning 19 very soon which is obviously another reason why this shouldn't happen. Thank you very much for taking the time to read this and hopefully to reply and let me know what you think i should do as my brain is completely muddled over what to do right now and i'm sure getting some advice would help a lot. Once again thanks and sorry its sooo long
Thanks for writing in and sharing such a big secret, I know it prob wasn't easy. But it was a great idea to reach out for advice. I think that on some level you know this situation is not a good idea and that’s why you’re asking for my advice. Even though you’re not blood related, you and your step brother are still family. Crossing those boundaries by being in a romantic relationship and/or having sex is really unhealthy. I strongly suggest talking to your parents and seeing a counselor to help you process your feelings. Is there a counselor at your school? The fact that you’re only 16 and he’s 18 makes this a legal matter, too. If you live in the US, you’re considered a minor and engaging in sexual activity with him is illegal! Pretty heavy stuff for you to deal with. Honestly, the best advice I can give you is to not blur the lines of brother and boyfriend. You said yourself things got really ugly between the two of you and “you were tearing the family apart”. Don’t go backwards and repeat the past, move forward and create a new, brighter future. Call these hotline for more help.
Sending you love & support,