My Boyfriend is Always Drinking

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My Boyfriend is Always Drinking

Hi my name is Nicole. I really need advice from someone about my 2 year relationship. Throughout this year I wasn't feeling too happy with my partner, he always failed in making me happy. He would only drink. There was one time when he made me cry, but the worst part was that he saw me cry and the only thing he did was scream at me saying to shut up. He just recently promised my mother and I that he woud stop drinking, but a few days ago I found out he drank again and lied to me saying he was sleeping, but I know he wasn't.  Now I broke up with him but he keeps suffering. At the same time I want to meet someone else to make me happy but at the same time it hurts me so bad to see him cry. I know he didn't care when I cried, but I guess I have a caring heart. I wanna meet someone but don't want to hurt him. I don't know what to do so I don't feel his pain I'm trapped in the decision I want or need. Please help.

Nicole

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I'm so sorry you feel conflicted about your relationship. You obviously are am empathetic person and care about him a lot. And it sounds like you gave him lots of chances. I'm sure he cares about you, as well. Unfortunately, that's not a good enough of a reason to stay. I only say that because more than likely if you stay with him nothing will change. He will continue to drink (or try to hide it from you) and you will still feel unhappy. Your ex boyfriend needs to work on himself and seek help to stop drinking. It sounds like he has a pretty serious problem. Counseling and AA meetings can really be helpful in teaching him how to quit and give him the professional support he may need. I know it's not easy to walk away from a 2 year relationship and it will be a process to deal with all of your feelings. You have to do what's right for you. Maybe you can still be a friend to him and encourage him to go to treatment? A lot of times it's too hard to remain friends though after a breakup. If this is the case, you have to move on and do what's ultimately best for you. You deserve to be with a guy who makes you smile.

Bottom Line-you can't stay with someone just because you feel bad for them. Would you want someone to stay with you becasue they pitied you?

Best of luck with this tough situation. xo

GZ Advisor