What Girls Have To Say About Their Underwear
By Cinse Bonino
Whether the story is about the time you vacuumed up your underwear from under the bed and your mom made you reverse the vacuum and blow your underwear out INTO THE YARD or about when you came home from sleeping over at your best friend's house without your underwear and your mom didn't believe you that you must have left them there -- girls have drawer-fulls of stories about underwear!
Here are a few stories about real girls and their underwear..
Molly - I saw these older girls wear these boxers, so I decided to wear them too, once. So I chose these cute plaid ones with Tigger. Then in gym class we were bouncing on trampolines, and my shorts fell down -- revealing my Tigger boxers, which looked like Tigger was bouncing too. So now I am called The Trampoline Tigger Girl.
Whitney - Once I spent the night at my friend's house and my friend's brother's friend was the hottest guy I ever saw! Well we all took showers that night and thinking I was at my own house I accidentally left my underwear there and when her brother's friend went in there nothing happened, but when he came out he was hanging my underwear around his finger spinning it in circles and boy was I embarrassed!
Felicia - My mom has nothing to say for my dignity. She's great and all, but believe me: don't let her do your underwear shopping unless you want to need therapy in a couple of years. But I am a very busy person and I really don't have time to shop for underwear, and at the time I thought, "Hey, how bad can she mess up?" I had the confidence that she knew The Little Mermaid undies were passe since the second grade so what exactly could she get me that was so bad? Try bright, neon colored panties. And we're talking bright. Like burn-your-eyeballs-out bright. Okay, so that's why they call them undergarments, right? No one should see them. But unfortunately I had conflicting choices in clothes.
You see, I like baggy jeans. However, I was stuck with underwear that can be seen from two hundred feet away. This was a very bad combination. During class I was saying a poem we were supposed to memorize and just as I got to, "...descending the broad hall stairs," I realized people were staring and giggling. And I realized my baggy jeans and slightly small sweater were revealing not only my adorable belly button, but my you-can-tell-momma-picked-them-out underwear. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, my friend just had to whisper too loudly, "Your underwear is showing!" Great. Like I didn't know. So from now on I'm am doing the shopping.
Tracie - Once at a party, my friends and I soaked a girl's underwear and stuck them in the freezer. The next morning the were as stiff as a board and as cold as ice. It was so funny.
Chloe - For my b-day party we were doing the retro 60s thing. Well we were tie-dyeing in my front yard when I decided to tie-dye my Hanes. We hung our stuff to dry. Right when I was stringing up my undies on the garage who rode their bike by? MY MAJOR CRUSH!!! I'll never look him straight in the eye again!!!!
Paige - I belong to a winter swim team here in New Jersey. I have a lot of really cool friends there. I love to hang out with them in the locker room, and chat. We always shows each other our underwear and bras, just for laughs. As a joke, last year, we formed a cool underwear club. We wear day of the weak undies, etc.
Anyway, our team has a Secret Santa every year. Everyone gets a little slip of paper; except it doesn't have a name on it, just a number. Now we all know our numbers, but we don't know everybody elses. We just have to think up a nice gift anybody would like.
So, anyway, it's the day of the Secret Santa gift party, and I thought it'd be really funny if I got my person ( who I thought was my friend Ashley) some really cool underwear. So the coaches hand out all the presents, and this guy gives me this really funny look. He comes over, and wants to know why I got him a box full of underwear for Christmas. He didn't tell anybody, but my face was definately red!
Anonymous - About six months ago I went to spend the night at a friend's house. I was packing up my stuff and taking forever to do so. My mom was yelling at me to hurry up, so I stuffed the rest of my clothes and the stuff into my bag. I hopped into her car and we drove over to my friend's house. When I got there I put down my bag because I had to hang-up my coat in the front room. I picked up my bag and my friend and I went into her room. About ten minutes later, her older brother (17) and his friend came laughing into her room. They had my underwear and they were waving it around! I was so embarrassed! It took forever to get them back from the guys! I forgot to zip up my bag completely when I was hurrying to pack and it tipped over when I was hanging up my coat! I still hear about it now.
Anonymous - One morning before school I was feeling kinda sick. Like diarrhea sick. My mom said, "Here, take an extra pair of underwear." Not thinking what kind of underwear she handed me, I shoved them in my backpack. At school I did the unthinkable, I went in my pants. I ran to the bathroom with my bag so I could use the extra pair my mom sent me. When I tried to put on the underwear, I realized my mom gave me my little sisters underwear. And I had already thrown MY underwear away! Then at PE I was doing jumping-jacks with my sisters underwear on, which by the way is Barney underwear. I was also wearing baggy jeans. They fell down and revealed my sisters undies. Lucky me, I was helping my teacher do them in the middle of everyone, so they ALL saw me!
Anonymous - When I was in about 3rd grade I spent the night at my best friend's house. Much to my luck, I left my underwear at her house. Not too bad right? Well when she found them what did she do but bring them to school in a Wal-mart sack at lunch and then made me carry them for the rest of lunch.
Zoe - It was my Freshman year and the eve of one of our final dress rehearsals for the Fall play. One of the girls, a senior, had to wear white dress slacks in one of her scenes. This is all well and good until you consider one tiny little wardrobe detail she hadn't noticed before going on stage: Her underwear were absolutely smothered in bright pink, blue, and green flowers! They smiled happily right through the thin cloth of her Goodwill pants we'd purchased for her costume.
The director, (a man), was forced to tell her this when she went backstage to change for her next scene. Flushed and embarassed she called up her mom to bring her a pair of white underwear, since she had to wear those same pants again later. We all went backstage to comfort and tease our embarrassed friend until her mom arrived.
Her mom finally showed up at the dressing room door with the precious drawers and, thinking she'd be funny, as all mothers try so hard to be, she put the underwear on her head and began to parade around the dressing room as she swung around the flowered tunks her daughter had changed out of. It wasn't until she'd traveled full circle around the room in her make shift "hat" that she noticed the director and the House Manager (also a guy) standing off to the side by the door. Our friend, who shall remain nameless for obvious reasons, was mortified. So now only one question remains: Will her mother ever try to "make a funny" by parading around in her daughter's unmentionables? Methinks she'll do this nevermore...